It’s finally December, which means it’s the months of Top Lists! Top 10 Meltdowns, Top 10 Hottest New Stars, and Top 10 Fashion Disasters.
We thought we’d kick off December with one of our favorite lists: 2011′s Top 10 Biggest WTF moments!
Find out which stars made the list after the cut!
#10. Jonah Hill Loses Half Of Jonah Hill
What do you do when a guy known for being fat is suddenly not so fat anymore? “Jonah Hill? Which one is he?” “He’s the fa.. uh.. you know, that guy that’s like.. funny and sort of blonde.” Obviously the world is proud that he lost the equivalent to three Cadillac Escalade’s, but damn Jonah! Did you learn nothing from Seth Rogan’s box office disaster with The Green Hornet? The funny gene is stored in fat!
#9. Kim Kardashian’s
Real Fake Real(?) Wedding
Poor Kris Humphries! He’s a basketball player without an NBA team to call his own who went through a wedding AND a divorce while he was locked out from working. He hasn’t had the best three months! If you haven’t heard about the Kardashian wedding disaster by now, then we’re very sorry to hear that you were stricken blind AND deaf this year! But if you were fortunate enough to escape that demise of senses, then there’s no doubt that you know Kim Kardashian married and filed for divorce all in 72 days, and within one year of meeting Kris! And now Kris has filed for annulment saying that she defrauded him into marring her. Like everything else about that family, this can be filed away under ‘WhatAFuckingMess‘.
#8. Bristol Palin Looks Different
But, according to her rep, she did not have plastic surgery. I guess the other half of her jaw bone just… fell off? Or it shaved itself down? Or she found the boombox from Kazaam that Shaquille O’Neil lives in and he fixed it with magic after after the former Laker granted her three wishes? That one sounds pretty likely, considering there’s no way it was plastic surgery. (Psst– It was actually plastic surgery. Don’t tell Sarah we told you. She owns guns.)
#7. Arnold Has A Love Child, Maria Shriver Divorces Him
While the world was under the impression that the Governator and his little lady had the perfect life together, he was busy banging his very unique looking maid. News broke this year that not only did she get pregnant, but she had the baby TEN YEARS AGO! Take some friggin lessons, Bieber! THAT’S how you hide baby drama! When word finally broke, Maria dumped him, he left office, and started doing what he should have been doing the entire time– Making movies where things explode.
#6. Princess Beatrice Wears A Fancy Cat Door To The Royal Wedding
We get the fact that fascinators are mandatory for a royal wedding, but why the hell does yours look like that? It looks like what vaginas look like in extremely conservative sex-ed books. After the wedding, she auctioned it off for $130, 000 for charity in what will be known as the worst purchase in history. I’d sell my actual vagina for $130, 000.
#5. January Jones’ Baby Daddy Mystery
When January Jones first got pregnant, the world assumed that SNL star Jason Sudeikis was the father, since the two were dating at the time. But nope! She told him it wasn’t his and kicked him to the curb. Rumors started swirling that a director of her movie and a co-worker on her show might be the fathers as well, but she debunked those rumors faster than you can say January-Jones-really-can’t-act-all-that-well. So who is the baby daddy? It’s still unconfirmed, and she had the baby MONTHS ago! I guess this lady’s lips are tighter than her legs. But, if you want a little inside scoop, word has it that former boyfriend and newly single Ashton Kutcher is actually the father, which is one of the reasons him and Demi are currently getting divorced. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what the kid looks like in 10 year! If he’s tall and buff and hot as shit and looks a little like Jesus, then we’ll know it’s Kutcher’s. Or Jesus’s!
#4. Michael Lohan Hides In A Tree To Escape Police
Father-of-the-year Michael Lohan has had a little trouble with the cops this year. He broke the restraining order his ex-fiance has on him (so they could have sex, so… I don’t know if this really counts as breaking it if she was participating, but whatever) and when she called the cops on him (she said she didn’t want him to give her a little Lindsay, and he planted the seed that would do that, if you catch our drift), he tried to run from the cops. When they found his hiding spot– which wasn’t hard to do because he was in a tree in a bright purple sweater– a cop told him to come down and Lohan decided that if he stood really still, they couldn’t see him. His plan didn’t go over so well, and when he made his way back to his third-floor-balcony to make a run for it, he jumped off and ended up breaking his ankle.
#3. Metta World Peace Is Born!
The Los Angeles Laker formerly known as Ron Artest is known for doing a number of wild things in the past few years. Chugging booze during halftime, punching a fan in the face, went on Jimmy Kimmel Live with no clothes on, got pulled over for driving a Formula 1 car around LA, decided to quit basketball to become a rapper… You know, the usual NBA stuff. But this is his biggest headline maker to date: This year he officially changed his name from Ron Artest to Metta World Peace. When he first filed for the name change, it was almost a no-go thanks to his abundance of California parking tickets that he refused to pay (which he said was because most of the tickets were ‘his friends’ and he ‘didn’t want to pay them’). But after the finances were settled with the state, his name was legally changed. Where can we line up to get our WorldPeace jerseys…?
#2. 51-Year-Old Lost Actor Doug Hutchinson Marries 16-Year-Old Courtney Stodden
Most people knew Doug Hutchinson as one of the Dharma Initiative members on ABC’s Lost or one of the prison guards in the Oscar winning Green Mile, but as of 2011 everyone will forever remember him a the 51 year old actor that married a 16 year old wannabe country singer. The pair made headlines when they went on Good Morning America to talk about their love, which started online when she signed up for his acting classes. The two infamously got married in Vegas (one of only three states that would legally allow it to happen) and proceeded to invade your televisions with some of the best ‘celebrity’ interviews of all time.
#1. Duh! Winning!
When you’re talking about crazy shit that happened in 2011, you have to go straight to Charlie Sheen! Somehow the Two And A Half Men star lost what was left of his mind and went on a very public bender, doing coke with three hookers he referred to as his ‘goddesses’ while CBS payed him millions to not be on the show anymore. Then, naturally, he did a ton of interviews where, when asked how he felt about his life, he responded, “Duh, I’m winning.” The phrase winning took over the world and Sheen even got it tattooed on his wrist, which he revealed on a live podcast. After claiming he had tiger blood and that his former producer Chuck Lore was a troll, he slowly stepped out of the spotlight, leaving the winning to other people. Who wasn’t a winner in this situation? Emilio Estevez. It’s not good news when your brother is Charlie Sheen and he’s known as the successful one.
So there you have it: 2011′s Top 10 WTF Moments! Don’t forget to check back all month for the rest of our 2011 Top Lists!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You kept scrolling! That gets you a SURPRISE COURTNEY STODDEN GIF!!!
Celebrities Mentioned in this Post
This post is in: Ashton Kutcher/ Demi Moore, Break Ups, Celebrity Tattoos, Charlie Sheen, Comedians, Embarrassing Moments, Kardashian Family, Legal Issues, Lindsay Lohan, Plastic Surgery, Reality Celebrities, Saturday Night Live Stars, Scandal, TV Stars, Twitter