Madonna, performing at a recent concert in Tel Aviv, Isreal, sang ’Nobody Knows Me’ in front of a giant screen showing Marine Le Pen, the leader of France’s National Front with a swastika superimposed on her forehead. Neo-nazi accusations? Yeah, you’re interested now.

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Derpy Mark Z

Mark Zuckerberg, the innovator behind the world’s largest website dedicated to stalking your ex-girlfriend and getting updates on how many of your high school friends are knocked up, is now only worth $14.7 billion instead of $20 billion. Facebook stock shares are down by a percentage that people are saying is a lot so that’s really sad for him.

Although fans are rallying to raise funds for him and his budding family to cope during these trying times, the Zuck and his new bride have nonetheless taken the thrifty route while honeymooning in Italy.

We have heartbreaking footage of him being lost at an ATM. And because he bought his wife diamond earrings, he couldn’t leave a tip at the restaurant where they ate dinner. After viewing the photos (which are painful and traumatic in nature), please click the “Donate Now” button and do your part to restore this poor man’s pride and ensure another unnecessary Facebook update.

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This is nothing more than a string of wonderful screenshots from the upcoming film adaptation of Les Miserables. Now is not the time to turn your nose up at a “musical”. This shit is historical fiction played out as pretty much an OPERA. This is nothing to scoff at. MUZICALZ FO’ LYFE YO’.

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Our self-esteem plummeted while sifting through pics of Keira for this post, so in order to get through it without running to the bathroom to cry and shout “you’re beautiful” at our reflections, we chose a less flattering screen shot from her role as a spank-addicted therapy patient. We may still need to call our moms for a pep talk later though.

Details! There are none. All we know is Keira has announced her engagement to her boyfriend of 15 months, James Righton. Dude is a keyboard player (a.k.a. good with his fingers) for The Klaxons, a rock band we’ve never heard of. They are keeping tight-lipped about how the proposal went down and what their wedding plans are, but we’ll get our hands on that goss soon enough!

Keira split from Rupert Friend after 5 years together in January of 2011, so we think she must have found her man this time, girl’s not letting this one wait. We like her a lot, so we’re wishing the happy couple a good 3 years together before they start to bore us and need to get divorced.

We are almost as excited about this movie as we are for Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection. But more about that later. WATCH THIS TRAILER AND CREAM YOUR PANTS.

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If there’s anything in the world we are all super concerned about at this moment, it’s the relationship status of Justin Bieber. You can’t release a song called “Boyfriend” then NOT be a boyfriend – the hypocrisy is appalling.

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Someone’s been working on their fitness at the Ethos Centre at London’s Imperial College. Find out who’s pulling their hamstring below!

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We present to you a screenshot of Kim Kardashian‘s IMDB profile that was recently post on the front page of the internet. And it’s hilarious. Props to the writer, and it’s a shame such great rhetoric was forcibly removed by the pseudo-celebrity‘s lawyers.

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As our efforts continue to drag the anorexic woman beater through the mud and ruin his career, we bring you tantalizing pictures of our boy Chris Brown getting a street walker’s number. And by “street walker”, we mean a girl he saw walking down the street.

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In a shocking announcement on her blog, Bristol Palin lashed out against the teenage drama show Glee, wherein she revealed in no uncertain terms that the musical primetime hit was bad for America and led to President Obama’s advocation for gay marriage.

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