If you haven’t heard of the Boner Rower Henrik Rummel by now, then clearly you don’t spend as much time on the Internet searching for Olympians sporting semi-hard-ons while on the podium as we do (Spoiler alert: It has never happened to Michael Phelps). Basically he’s an American rower who was pushing a suspicious outline in his spandex shorts while accepting his bronze medal the other day.

After the perverts of the Internet caught wind of this happening, the photo went viral and sparked the greatest debate in Olympic history: Did this guy pop a boner or not?

In an interview Rummel did with Gawker yesterday, he claims that his oar wasn’t even hard at the time.

So, come on: was it a boner?
“Nope! If I did have one you can bet I would’ve tried harder to cover it up with the flowers. Those spandex are pretty tight fitting and whatever position it happens to be captured in, it’s staying that way.”

Now, as hard hitting journalists (read: University English graduates who can find nothing more respectable to write for than a celebrity gossip website because the print industry is basically dead), we realize it’s our responsibility to get to the bottom of this. There are millions of people around the world currently struggling with the uncertainty of the status of Rummel’s erection, and Gossip Overload is here to put those questions to rest.

So here’s the deal, Henrik:

GossipOverload.com is going to give $10, 000 to the charity of your choice if you post a picture of you rocking a boner in your spandex. If it’s bigger than the picture of you on the podium, then the Internet owes you one big, fat apology. If it’s the same size, then clearly you were sporting a hard-on while getting your bronze (which we think is awesome), so this is really a win-win.

So let’s see it, bud! Pop it and post it and you’ve got yourself 10G’s for your charities!