Michael Lohan was booked for domestic assault charges last night because, according to the police report, his girlfriend wouldn’t give him a blow job.

According to the statement, the dad of star Lindsay Lohan and former live-in-girlfriend Kate Major told police that he went to her Tampa residence last night and began raging about an upcoming court hearing regarding a former domestic violence charge when he started demanding she give him oral sex. While throwing the fit he began to squeeze her arms and threaten that he would “slit both his and her wrists.” The cops also stated that he “threatened to throw her off her [fourth floor] balcony.” That’s when Kate claims Michael became out of control and threw a channel changer at her and smashed her cell phone.

It gets weirder! Michael was there the night before, too and during that argument, he smashed his head on the door causing it to bleed, and threatened Major that if she called the cops, he’d claim the injury was her fault. What a psycho!

But last night’s argument wasn’t triggered by just anything… This is Michael Lohan we’re talking about! It’s go weird or go home, and he went WEIRD!

According to the report, the fight started because ”[Kate] did not want Michael to ejaculate inside her. Michael Lohan stated he did ejaculate in her and his girlfriend got very angry.”

What the hell!? Michael Lohan gets crazier by the day! Looks like he’s going to get that 16th minute he’s been pinning for!